Friday, September 04, 2009

Fantasy Shopping for the Purposes of Auto-Housewarming

So I'll be moving apartments by the end of the month (or we better be-- either that or stuck in Maison Shithole with Wop Slumlord for another month. I'm not kidding. Our building is sagging and the windows are not lined up.)

Been wistfully looking at house decor that I (still) can't afford; but it's warranted to some degree. We'll finally be moving into a real apartment (we aren't squatting, because we're paying a rent, but we're zoning squatting in that we're living in a commercial/light industry space. . . as is the child-beating fortune-teller downstairs.) So in this new fantasy apartment we actually have a stove, a kitchen sink, all mod cons. Like real people. With real stuff.

I'm looking for something that crosses a faux camp boudoir or rococo-ish (lamps, couches) aesthetic with clean modern lines (in cabinetry and bath and curtains especially) and a little whimsy. So I want all those punk rock flyers and posters we've got in nice frames. I want to look like adults live in this new place. Of course, I'm talking like this is going to happen tomorrow-- it's not; we're dealing with the snakiest of snakes: Manhattan brokers on what was originally listed as a NO FEE apartment. But it is just too nice to pass on: French doors, a kitchen, nice building, good neighborhood near the bars (and near the Joe Strummer mural.)

So now that those brokers are about to break the bank, let's talk fantasy purchases because that's as far as we'll get after we're done funding their Jets tickets and fashionable coke habit. Of the products I've found this is my favorite. Useless, sure. But cute. Why do I need a cream caddy? Because real people have cream caddies. (Which aren't called cream pitchers or jugs or cream thingies.)

Cute though is a problem. My roommates are an ex-Marine and a guy who was in Subincision. . . so I guess the bedroom will keep looking like this: Continue reading!

(Which like I said, I love. But I want FRAMES dammit.) Because it looks pretty swell when it happens. Check out our NWA poster (we also have a Bad Brains in a frame-- all found on the street when FIT kids-- urkkk-- evacuated for the summer, from what I remember):

Pure class, eh.

Here are some other favorites:

OUTRAGEOUSLY priced sofa from Urban Outfitters. (not pictured because UO is a dick, not news) . . toothbrush holder in the shape of Bambi's absentee father. . . TOAST CLOCK. Shiiiit. . . This Sweet Throw Pillow.

YEAH PS Urban Outfitters (besides PS- thanks for letting every Douchebag Mackelroy go around wearing Fred Perrys that I still can't afford- or fit, since you're not carrying girls. . . ) This looks like it's supposed to be used for something else. I don't know what. But something.

Mindless Drug Hoover: "Fuck Off." From Jim's sweet SFRP mix :)

1 comment:

Jim said...

Your current place sounds so delightful, I can't imagine why you'd want to move...


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