haha kelis just kinda said it the way i want to hear it.

"There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of life. With that being said, I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious."

Fuck yeah you got that right. Reprinted in full below the jump, via Rap Radar--

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Good morning all!

Ok, so you’re gonna love this. The other day I got a personalized letter from PETA! Lol so after some thought I’ve decided to write one back. Goes a little something like this:

There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of life. With that being said, I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious. And after doing a very minimal amount of research……. I found out that the founder Ingrid Newkirk is completely batty. I had a feeling but she far exceeded my expectations. I mean certifiably insane! Lol this chicks will is nuts, google it – it’s a riot! Beyond the fact that I think she’s a diabetic, which means she needs insulin, which is taken from lab pigs (I know this because my sister happens to be in veterinary school), which would be completely hypocritical. It’s like don’t abuse animals unless it can help me.

I feel very strongly about a lot of things such as the sweatshops that spin cotton and the blood on their hands. Btw it’s not just the look of fur. It’s warm as hell and feels glorious, ever rubbed faux fur on your body? Nothing luxurious about that. Then the letter proceeded to name artist and designers who don’t wear real fur. Great! More for me! I don’t judge them, don’t judge me.

If I started wearing endangered animals like polar bear or orangutan then talk to me. (Which btw for the record I would not – I do believe in the preservation of endangered species) But the minks and chinchilla that quite honestly are rodents and if weren’t in the form of a coat I would demand they be put to death anyway are not an issue to me.

The death of high fashion. Ugh.

I eat meat, and in fact my mouth salivates as I type the word meat! And the paint throwing that’s just ridiculous! What if I was hurling Loubitons and Pierre Hardy’s at every sad poorly dressed person on the street? As right as I may be it’s just fanatical and crazy. And people have the right to feel as they please. What about art? Survival of the fittest. Natural selection? No let’s just let all the rodents run free and over take our cities. Oh wait they have, NY and LA in particular are infested! Why don’t u save them all from scavenging on the streets and ruining my evening strolls, take them home. Make them pets! Get off my back! Pun intended!

Underpaid minorities picking your vegetables, now that’s fine for you right? Please, fight for their rights. How about the poverty in the communities of brown people around the world. She had the nerve to say (and I quote) “get over it” talking of the issue of black people and slavery in this country verses cows being slaughtered. Is she kidding me? Lol yes she must be. Actually, she’s lucky most black people have real issues to worry about in the U.S and don’t give a crap what her delusional privileged opinions are. But she should try saying that again just for kicks n giggles on the corner of Adam Clayton Powell Blvd in Harlem n see how well people “get over it” lol.

If u want to preach do it about something worthwhile don’t waste my time trying to save the dang chipmunk.

Find a worthwhile cause like the women being maimed in these Middle Eastern countries. Or female circumcision. Or women’s rights here in America, we still get paid less for doing the same jobs as men. Quite honestly if you hate the world so much go live in the forest where no one else has to hear you complain about the perfectly good food chain the good Lord created. Everyone has the right to an opinion, and that’s mine on that! xoxo


Ingrid "euthanasia is awesome!" Newkirk says shit like this, by the way--"No, I’m not really a sad person, except when I lie awake at night in winter thinking about all the animals out without shelter, and then I’m sad! Who wouldn’t be? Wouldn’t anybody be sad if they have a heart? It’s just that I’ve seen so much [x]." That's a lot of shit to be sad about, if you take into account the amount of winters we've had since, like, animals were invented ("invented." You know. Before humans. Who invented the shelter she's talking about.)

Wassailing is not ass wailing. Or is it?

My boyfriend ("J") is the Grinch and hates Christmas songs like some kind of Communist, so we were of course naming as many as we could think of the other night (over the Giants fans whopping at same bar as mentioned before, also over the music that was trying to block out the Giants fans, so we were yelling too which just contributed to the problem) and our buddy brought up "Here we come a wassailing."

Which brought us to how we all thought we were terribly clever back in the day when we figured out Santa was an anagram for Satan.

And then I thought I was terribly clever because I realized Wassailing is an anagram for ass wailing. Mostly because that's what they're doing, right? Going around wailing Christmas songs at your door &c, and you're hiding in the backroom because you don't know if it's like trick or treating, or that St Stephen's day thing, like do you have to give them candy or money or your good china?

Well it turns out wassail is a punch. But don't worry-- wassailing, as a verb, is about still going around irritating your neighbors, presumably drunk. With suggested Anglo-Saxon origins, it was a way during the so-called feudal period to irritate the lord of your manor and, yes, he did have to give you something to eat. If he wasn't a douchebag, presumably. Or if he didn't set his hounds or gangs of color-bearing mercenaries after you. The songs were meant to invoke blessings, good cheer, etc, for the coming year-- which is why you wish people Merry Christmases. In England, the orchard-wassailing was to promote a good harvest.

Naturally, the practice took a violent turn, as if this wasn't a surprise since you were giving people alcohol and sending them around to harass people, with reports of obnoxious drunken early New England versions of the hey-bra types to bust into houses and demand food & drink. Think in "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"-- "we won't go until we got some." Sinister. This should give J. the Grinch, Mr NYHC, something to appreciate about Christmas songs, and all you punk rocker kids, you. (Which means I can start playing the songs in the house, right?)

So I guess maybe you should stay in that back room. Because it's not ass-wailing. It could be ass-whaling. And while you're at it, brew some of that wassail punch stuff. Modcloth has got the recipe up.

Indiana Jones M & Ms

Now I know a few of you out there are as excited as I am about a little movie coming out tonight/tomorrow. So maybe when you saw the Indiana Jones M&Ms at the grocery store, instead of saying, "My god! Will this end!" you said, "Good lord, I must buy them!"

So if you did, and you're stuck with bags of peanut M&Ms with skulls, fedoras, and Mayan temples printed on them, you could do as we did and bake up some peanut M&M cookie bars, now officially Indiana Jones M&M cookie bars, AKA the cookie bars that B ate all of yesterday before the damn movie even came out. They're a little on the sweet side, though that's mostly from the candy goodness of the M&Ms. I don't know how they'd work with the other Indy tie-in M&Ms, which are mint. I'm a huge mint-chocolate fan and had actually looked for those because I wanted to use them in straight up brownies, but couldn't find 'em.

Peanut M&M Cookie Bars
from Genesis of a Cook and Fresh from the Oven.

2 3/4 cups flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2/3 cup butter, melted
2 1/4 cup brown sugar
3 large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups Peanut M&M's

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt.

3. In another bowl, combine the melted butter and brown sugar together, stirring until evenly distributed. Allow to cool slightly. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well each egg. Mix in vanilla. Stir in flour mixture. Once combined, add Peanut M&M's. Spread into a 13" x 9" baking pan or 10" x 15" jelly roll pan.

4. Bake for 24-27 minutes. Try not to oven bake or they will be dry. Once done, remove from oven and allow to cool completely before cutting.

I took them out at 24 minutes because I like my desserts gooey and undercooked, and at the 24 minute mark in my oven, they definitely were.

Woo-hoo! Food porn!

As regards the Jam album problem-- the link still isn't working and my HD still hasn't been unpacked (nor has anything else, ack!), so I will try to get it up as well as resume normal posting by the end of this weekend. Thanks again for your patience.

And have fun at the movies!